AKA, Bonfire Night.
The days leading up to it were drama full, as always. One of my close mates made an event of going round her house on Friday night, we’ll call her Anna, but hadn’t invited her best friend who has done soo much for her, we’ll call him Charles. It was all very familiar, it was quite clear that Anna and another friend who we are all close with, Chloe, had got together and decided who to invite. They love drama, they even admitted it to me, ‘Everything is more boring if there isn’t any dramaaa…’. I was invited, but I am a really close friend to Charles, so I felt like I would be betraying him if I said nothing. I decided to talk it over with Abbey, his girlfriend, as she is a really good friend. But she couldn’t hold it in, and told him more or less straight after we came out the lesson. I wasn’t there for this, I went home, but what happened next was reported to me. Charles went straight up to Anna crying and very angry, saying all about what is she doing. Quite a difficult situation really. And the invite said to ‘Keep it on the downlow’, so I suddenly had Chloe bbming me with all kinds of abuse. I held my own though, and told her that it was wrong in the first place. The cheek she had to say I was the one wanting to cause drama! She and Anna have decided without any consultation that they are organising the holiday for next year, so have written a list of people THEY will invite and that is that. There are people on it I have never had a conversation with, so why would I choose to go on holiday with them? Most people other than them are the same, and it all felt too dictated for me. They decided there would be two holidays, one with more people than the other, and the second had my own boyfriend crossed off the list with them telling me they don’t want him to come at all. Offensive much? But apparently a joke to them, fuck off! So that drink up thing was basically the exact same. They are both awful influences on each other.
Instead on that Friday I went with my boyfriend to a new restaurant which is a copy of its own original round the corner. Its called Cosmo but the new one is soo much nicer! It is a buffet with all sorts of food, mainly Chinese, but also Mexican, Indian, and all kinds of Asian style food. And dessert! So we really enjoyed that. Then we went to our favourite rooftop and just sat and had a chat, he opened up to me a lot about how he feels about certain people, which is rare for him so was really nice.
Saturday, bonfire night, was brilliant. Although I had to work allll day, and then change my clothes in the car, I knew the wait would be worth it. I met my boyfriend and I had told him I was thirsty, he had already bought me a bottle of coke The fireworks were in his old primary school, and had a fairly early start, with mainly families with young children there. When the fireworks began and we stood with me in front holding his hands, everything I had to worry about drifted away. Amongst the sounds of several ooh-ing and -ahh-ing children and parents, the rockets, the music, and the general hussle and bussle, nothing really mattered other than him. He was holding me quite tightly, so maybe he felt it too, but it was like we didn’t really need to worry about all that other stress. Then we went to the Harvester, had our meal, shared a dessert, and then went bowling which I won 2/3 games as always When he put me on the train I sat down and saw a poster for iKea, which read ‘Everything you need is closer than you think.’ Pretty much a summary of what that evening made me feel.
Ps We still haven’t said we love each other yet, Friday was 8 months.
Such a horrible half term really.
Started well mind, with a party on the first Saturday night that was really fun. Everyone was there and got really drunk. Really enjoyed it.
My gathering was Sunday night, with everyone staying over. My old friend who we shall call Ben basically forced me to invite him when I made the invite. He doesn’t know my friends, and I didn’t want him to come, but he guilt tripped me and said he would turn up anyway. That’s his nature. Writing this makes me wonder even deeper why he is still someone I call a best friend. He is not, considering he told everyone we slept together a year ago despite the fact we decided to keep it between ourselves as we were seeing each other at the time, and didn’t know if it was going to work out. But I really liked him, and it turns out the whole time he was telling me he was in love with me and wanted to be with me he had met another girl and was seeing her too. Bottom line is, he picked her. Then made me out as a slag. Long story short, I didn’t speak to him for 6 months then let him back in after an apology. The ‘back in’ referring to being back in my life, not sex!
So he turns up on Sunday, sits in the corner making roll ups and the biggest mess in my lounge. Made no effort to become friends or join in in conversation with everyone. I hated it, I felt responsible for him so sat and talked to him when I didn’t want to. I wanted to talk to everyone as we always do, sitting round having drinks and a laugh. I love doing that. He just made it awkward for himself. He sat outside with Joe for a long time smoking, then decided he really wanted to drink despite being on antibiotics so drunk 8 of my Fosters, and 2 of Joe’s strongbow. Then pissed everyone off with him general drunk behaviour, wouldn’t let people sleep, and stayed up in my toilet throwing up for 2 hours making a massive mess that my mum had to clear up in the morning. So in hindsight, I didn’t enjoy it that much because of him. Considering cutting him out, just blocking him on facebook and deleting his number. The thought process continues.
On Wednesday my boyfriend took me out for a belated birthday day. It was great, although in the morning his mum got a call from one of his teachers saying he was doing badly and hadn’t kept up to date with stuff. So his mum was fuming and nearly didn’t let him out. This just makes me worry that she is going to think I am a bad influence on him and he’s investing too much in me and neglecting his school work. Although this is not the case. Nevertheless we went to London Zoo, which was amazing. Five hours we spent in there. Then ate at Garfunkles in Leicester Square. Then he took me on the London Eye in the dark which was brilliant. For me it felt like a countdown til we got to the top, and for some reason amongst the Romanticness of the setting I really thought he would tell me he loved me. And there was a moment I really thought he was going to. But he didn’t. The wheel kept going, and we were no longer at the top of the beautiful city covered in lights and fireworks as it was Diwali. I had great advice from my actual best friend Joe though, who said you shouldn’t ask for advice on how to tell someone they love them, it should just feel right when you want to tell them and you should. So that’s what I’m going to do, next time it feels right I will tell him. I don’t care if he doesn’t say it back. Also, who doesn’t love being told they are loved?
With all this teacher ringing stuff, he is now not allowed out at alllll. He had 3 nights planned. And the hope of seeing me more than twice in a week off. But no, his mum has said he aint allowed out and is only allowed his phone for half an hour a day. Ridiculous if you ask me, how can you control your son this much at this age? Stupid. It will only push him away. I miss him so much, after only a day, which for me further confirms that I do love him. Especially after a massive argument with my mum this evening when I really wanted to talk to him. And I think he loves me too, but only time will tell. Hopefully my next blogpost will confirm that.
Anyway, I’m going to find a nice Romcom now to watch in bed, and probably read some of the An Idiot Abroad diary I bought since I love the series.
So I turned 18 last Monday, and I must have missed the footnote about it causing more drama.
There is a particular girl who has a habit of over catastrophising EVERYTHING. Her boyfriend is such a good friend to me, and I know exactly why he broke up with her 2 months ago. He just didn’t feel the same anymore, he did love her, but she was destructing their relationship by constantly texting her ex and pushing him away. He was so upset when he did it, several times he said to me he felt he may have done the wrong thing, but eventually he realised it was for the best. Shame she can’t. She just causes drama after drama with him involving everyone else, and decides its appropriate to try and distruct my relationship too now. Never the pushover, I aint going to sit back and do nothing. We have argued too much because of her, and now it stops.
My birthday thing is this weekend, and I haven’t invited her, because I do not want her there with the trouble she has caused in our group of friends. She doesnt talk to any of us anymore, she doesnt sit with us, make any effort with us or anything. She inboxed us all saying we should take back her birthday present that we all put in for (which I organised and had to have THREE trips to the shop to refund) because it wasn’t genuine and all this pure rubbish. So I said exactly what I thought about what she said. She spent one week away from the group to get space from her ex, and then doesn’t consider us her true friends. Says more about her than us really, doesnt it?
She wants to talk to me tommorow just us, to explain everything that’s gone on and apologize. Can’t really see that happening, but I’ll let you know.
On the plus side I had a great first weekend being 18 with my family. Many drinks and a great casino win, yay And I’m more in contact with my ex who I was with for 2 1/2 years. Had a few calls and we seem to be really good friends, which is perfect for us. Although he does regularly say that if we were together now we would work so well, since circumstances have changed and so has he a bit. Which is a shame, but deep down I know we both don’t think its truly over. That’s for another day.
Ps, my current boyfriend didn’t get me a birthday card. The one thing he knew I wanted the most.
Aka I want him to tell me he loves me, because I’m too scared to say it first.
I’ve decided to start a blog, because I’ve began to realise that there truly is no one I can tell everything to so the anonymity and unchallenged boundary of a blog appeals somewhat.
If you’re reading this then you may want to read the following entries, with which you should know a few things:
Firstly, my name is not Daisy. I just liked the catchiness of ‘daybydaisy’. I’m going to remain anonymous and try and refrain from being specific about location and anyone else involved in my life.
Secondly, I promise to be honest. Just like me I’m sure many people have told you that ‘Honesty is the best policy’, well its not. Not in real life, honesty aint always the best thing. But on here you’ll here 100% of the story without lies.
Lastly, I can only be me. Literally, I don’t change, so if your not enjoying it, do not read on.
To start with I should probably give you a brief of me so you know where we’re at and what to expect.
I’m 17, I live at home with my mum and have 2 older brothers. One lives with his wife about an hour away and the other lives with his girlfriend about 5 hours away. We are all really close and they mean everything to me. I also have a cat which i’ve had for a few months now who is currently fascinated with a plastic bag on the floor. My dad lives about 10 mins away but I barely ever see him. The more you read the more you’ll learn.
I go to Sixth Form where I’m studying 3 A levels and after getting my results last week i’ve done far better than expected, so I’ve had to re-evaluate my uni options because they are all too low. My boyfriend of nearly 6 months now also goes to my Sixth form. Before this school I went to an all girls school. I also broke up with my ex last september after 2 1/2 years together. He and my current boyfriend could not be more different.
I aspire to be a Journalist. Perhaps why I have a desire to do a blog. So I would love feedback.
Theres your intro, anything else I need to explain I’ll do so along the way. I’ll do my best to be susynct, (I can’t work out how to spell it) but its not one of my strongest traits.